Sex, tantra and transcendence
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S A T I S F A C T I O N
(Ma Deva Pyari)
1. Sex is not necessarily related to love
This doesn't mean that prostitution is then something valid, because once you sell the body, you lose the connection with the source of energy - this energy that is produced through pleasure doesn't arise once sex is sold. Well, unless one enjoys it so much that selling the body becomes an excuse to do it all the time. But usually this is not the case. People go on selling the body because it seems an easy way to make money quickly. In fact it is not so easy: you are wasting the most pleasant thing the body can give to you and then the simplest route for happiness is spoilt for money! Actually this is a very hard job because you end up losing a natural capacity to enjoy: once pleasure has been sold it's very hard to get it back!
Also when you buy someone's body you don't get that tremendous pleasure that arises only when you feel desired by the other. So with this statement that sex and love must not be related, must not necessarily be connected, I don't mean that what is done in the name of sex in all different styles of prostitution is the solution that will give mankind the birthright of satisfaction.
In fact prostitution is taking men and women further away from the natural capaciity of pleasure as well as the other institutionalized mode of prostitution: marriage.
So what I mean by saying that sex and love may come in different compartments is that the bodies don't think of love when they desire another body. The hormones, "their" composition and "their" sometimes very strange taste determine what we call love. Many times these attractions don't fit the ideas about whom we should feel attracted to. Ideas are prejudices conditioned by the families, the societies, the churches, the schools... But the hormones don't know what has been stored in the private biocomputers (the brains), programmed by so many others around us, those who have brought us up. Of course we don't even remember who has pressed the buttons writing these programs inside of us and neither when nor why. But the prejudices are there, ruling "our" lives, repressing the impulses, blocking the capacity and the right to be happy.
So someone's smell or someone's nose or way of walking or any trivial thing like that may trigger something inside, something that makes us happy when we see this person, something that makes us almost fall downstairs to answer the phone, something that makes the heart bump fast when the person is really on the line... And we call this love. Sometimes conditioning doesn't even allow these feelings. Who knows why? Many reasons, many explanations from the mind: the other person is married, you are married, she "has" a boyfriend, you "have" a boyfriend or a girl friend, the other person is black, or white, you are too old, the other is immature, or poor, or too free and so on and so forth.
Sometimes we manage to go through all these barriers and surrender to this thing we call love. But once the person has been a few times with us in bed the feeling turns sour and "love" starts to disappear. No more heart bumping fast, no more falling downstairs: now duties, responsibilities and constant discussions take place between the two. A relationship has taken shape. And what we once called love is dead. Why?! Because everything is understood in a false way, through the programs of the mind.
First what was called love was only the hormones working in the body, trying to preserve the species, which is a natural phenomenon.
Second, the fear of being alone makes us stick to one person once we know some pleasure is possible with him or her. But after a few pleasant days or nights most people are utterly bored with each other, yet stupid enough to stay together just for security. And the most negative thing about satisfaction, love and fun has just begun: the relationship.
A relationship is the death of any energetic thing that can happen between two people.
Because energy comes from the mystery, the unknown, from the doubt of "shall I see him or her again?" This energy gives pleasure. It's not sex that brings satisfaction, it's good sex, and good sex happens when both partners don't know much about each other and so exploration is possible. During this exploration, mind stops. When the mind stops, when there is no thought, the body can feel pleasure at its peak and then satisfaction, ecstasy.
This also doesn't mean that two people can't enjoy pleasure if they live together for a long time. They can, but it's difficult, perhaps the most difficult thing concerning love and pleasure. But I've found out a few headlines about it. Here it goes:
*never say you "have" a relationship with someone and never build one. You can live together, work together but don't create this abstract thing between the two of you. It will be great to hop over it in order to enjoy the mystery that makes sex complete and satisfying.
*Never want to know much about each other. That kills attraction. Save the energy for exploration and for knowing yourself which is enough to take one's energy for a whole lifetime. Don't waste it trying to know people: you won't succeed and fun will be spoiled. You don't even know yourself, how can you know the other?!!!